Conquering My Inner Introvert – Part 2

Daily Prompt – Label

Consider this a Part 2 to one of my previous posts.

In my last post, I wrote about how being an introvert is fine and there is nothing wrong with it. But, boy was I wrong.

Being an introvert is wrong in so many ways. It’s bad that you prefer being alone. It’s bad that you don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s weird when you rather listen than speak. It’s wrong when every attribute of yourself doesn’t portray “good manners”

That’s all I was told years ago when I used to be quiet when I was happy with myself and I wasn’t regretting every other word I said. Then it all changed. Changed me into an over talkative girl whose only desire in life is to “speak”. If I act the slightest bit different something is wrong . I loved myself the way I was, I didn’t care that I was quiet, I didn’t care that I only liked to speak occasionally.

I’m now labeled as an extrovert. I’m labeled as a “desired” version of myself. I would call myself a great actress, fooled everyone, didn’t I? But am I proud of it? No .

But everyone else did, everyone else thought I had a bad upbringing. Being quiet doesn’t make you a bad person, judging someone for something they can’t change is. I’m not blaming anyone, I’m stating the irreversible change they brought.

A change that I loathe, A change that I wish never happened. I question myself every day. Why did I ever change ? Why didn’t I ever just stick to who I was? Then I had my answer – Social Stigma. I’ve always changed myself into what I’m perceived as by others. I hardly ever like to voice my thoughts, but look at me, that’s the only thing I do. The pain that pangs my heart when my true self is slowly dying. Everyone else likes me the way I am now, but I don’t.

I like myself as a public speaker and someone who like improvisation. But that’s the only form of speaking I get. It’s not uncommon for no one to understand me. No has truly transformed them for the worse like me.

I still wonder if I could ever change . Then I realize that I would have to listen to everyone else’s worries. Why is being an introvert a worry? Why is being who you want a worry? As long as you aren’t hurting anyone, it shouldn’t matter. I love myself the way I used to be, I despise myself for the way I am now, despise myself for being a victim of judgment, a victim of social stigma. When I could stand up for everyone else but myself.

To everyone reading this, never change yourself, you’re perfect the way you are and don’t let anyone say otherwise. It’s not too late for me to change, I will try, but I’m not hopeful, something that I should be at this point.

Conquering Our Inner Introvert

Daily Prompt – Conquer

Introverts . Mysterious, Quiet, Observer. Words that are used to describe each other. Introverts are people who are generally more attentive, listen and take logical decisions as opposed to hasty ones.

It’s hard for an introvert nowadays, you always get judged. I for one used to be an introvert, I still like to think of myself as one, but I’m sure many people disagree. So for now and possibly forever, I define myself – an ambivert.

Being a quiet person in general, it was hard for me to open up to anyone, including family. I prefer being in my own shell of books, technology, and music. A lot of people call me reclusive, but I call myself independent, not financially but I am independent in the sense I can occupy myself without other’s assistance.

Conquering our Inner Introvert sounds as if being an introvert is wrong, it isn’t at all. Having attributes from both extroverts and introverts, I’d say I prefer introverts over extroverts any day. I’m a hypocrite here, though, as I pretend to be a cheery, bubbly, attention seeking extrovert all day because that’s apparently my ‘image’. If I act any differently from that, it is considered ‘weird’ or ‘unusual’. I hate myself for succumbing to pressure and changing my identity to someone I’m not.

I like to be alone. I recharge myself when I’m alone, yet I’m forced to be around people because that shows ‘good manners’.

Introverts aren’t perfect. So aren’t extroverts. Being an introvert or extrovert is not a choice, you’re born with it and no one should tell you to change it, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. It’s time people accepted each other who they are, maybe advise them when they are wrong but never blame someone for not fitting into a certain character which is still prevalent in many societies. Someone who is generally quiet is considered as an ‘ill-mannered’ person. I may not be able to maintain eye contact with everyone and that’s not because I’m lying or I’m nervous, I’m not used to it and I feel uncomfortable.

For all those introverts out there, there is no such thing as Conquering our Inner Introvert. Opening up to people is a different thing and you should take your time with it. Being an introvert isn’t bad. It’s best to keep opinions to yourself and not voice it when unnecessary. Unfortunately, I can’t and that’s sad but I’m slowly working on keeping opinions to myself, not because of fear, but to keep the validity of the opinion as it takes only 10 seconds for an opinion to be declared “not valid”. I might talk about that some other time.

If you are reading this and you are an introvert or know someone who is introverted then please share it with them and tell them to brace their inner introvert.

Please like this post if you can relate to it and share your opinions in the comments below 🙂

Guilty Pleasures – Contoversy

Daily Prompt -Controversy

Let’s accept it. We all love controversy. As much as we all deny it, controversy and drama are our guilty pleasures. Some might think it’s wrong to budge into other people’s personal lives where it’s unwanted, but it’s human nature. It’s in every human’s nature to indulge themselves in drama and controversy once in a while, even if its wrong

The word originated in the 1300-1400 and has English, French and Latin roots.

But what actually do we gain from controversy? Happiness ? Satisfaction ?Comfort ?

Curiosity . Controversy satisfies our curiosity to know things, sometimes things that are not meant for us to know, but we know it anyways. Curiosity is good. I love having the incentive to know new things but for issues like someone’s marriage or divorce, I doubt the righteousness of curiosity.

Controversy varies in the eye of the beholder. For a spectator, it is juicy and really interesting. For the person caught up in the controversy, it isn’t as well. They are subject to judgment, to opinion and most importantly hatred.

I used to love drama and controversy as well. Being an avid fan of YouTube, it was only a matter of time before I was engulfed in the channels of John Kuckian and Karina Kaboom.

Then I realized, controversy isn’t always facts, it’s a mixture of gossip, rumors, and facts. What good does it do for me to add my opinion into it, it isn’t making things any better, is it?

To be aware of controversy is one thing, to add fuel to the fire is another. Bigotry is a major characteristic in controversy. Everyone has a side or an opinion, publicized or unpublicized. If someone disapproves of another’s opinion, it just adds to the fire.

Do I think controversy is necessary for progress and development? Mixed feelings. I enjoy the idea of public discussion on a topic but when no one is willing to accept constructive criticism and ideas, then it turns into drama, which is unnecessary, which in turn opens a whole new door of lies, rumors and uncredible facts.

There are people who feed off of  controversy. Are they bad people? No . It’s their wish whether they want to indulge themselves in it or not. The only time it is bad is when they verbally or physically abuse those involved in the controversy.

If you think about it, controversy is something we create, us drama loving humans. It doesn’t just pop up, it has roots.  Those roots strongly cling on to the soil which is a platform for the tiny little issue to grow into a large controversy.

I avoid controversy unless the topic being discussed is valid or if it affects the future of a community or the world or if it is a question of national importance and when our opinions calm down the fire rather than aggravate it.

Controversy once used to be a valid topic, one to be debated no discussed on, now the simplest thing is controversy. Seriously someone going to McDonalds is not a controversy, it’s their choice, we don’t have the right to give our opinion it.

Controversy now consists of menial situations, not even issues, opinions for people to hate on, people’s clothing choices, jokes. It’s about everyone’s personal life because like I said there is nothing we love more than other people’s lives. Will controversy ever actually retain it’s original importance or has it turned into a something all of us are tired of?

What does controversy mean to you?

Is Luck Just A Figment of Our Imagination ?

Daily Prompt – Luck

Luck .

Four letters . One Syllable . Every person defines it differently , every religion interprets it differently , but is luck an actual phenomenon or is it just our imagination playing tricks with us ?

The word itself originated in the 1400-1500 as a part of Late Middle English an Middle Dutch .

Luck is what all of us hope for , what all of us may or may not get .Luck is unexpected , it’s like a wave , you know its coming but are unsure of when . The difference between waves and luck are that waves are scientifically proven and accepted by everyone , luck isn’t .

Do I believe in luck ? Yes , absolutely . Is luck an ingredient to hard work ? Not necessarily , it can encourage people to work harder but it isn’t necessary that one who works hard runs into luck.

Luck is a contradiction in itself . The word itself is supposed to signify something good , or so I thought . Then why is there such a thing as bad luck ?

Our world has run into this so called “bad luck” . Corrupt officials , disintegrating nature , animal extinction, loss of faith in humanity , selfishness . Are all of these causes of bad luck or are they adjectives to describe bad luck ?

Does luck vary from person to another . Can one situation be good luck for one and bad for another ? These are questions I can’t definitely answer , for I myself am confused.

It’s ironic how a four letter word can put all our heads in a frenzy.

The concept of luck is way beyond the scope of my imagination , it makes me giddy to be honest . How is something that in concept is supposed to be so simple but confuses me instead .

The word ‘luck’ has perplexed me for years . What is the true meaning of luck ? Is it just a synonym for fortune or destiny ? Or are all our perceptions on luck totally wrong ?