Hii ! 

I’m going to try to explain this briefly , but this is basically my journey of becoming a better person .

I’ve recently noticed that while I’m at the pivot of materialisitc things in my opinions , I’ve given up my values and everything I care for . 

What once was so important to me , now seems less than a grain of sand .

The empathy that once used to be my personality , now is overshadowed by my monotonous one.

The love that I craved so much and finally got , I again lose my grasp on .

When I had heart full of humanity , now is pure evil . 

Then self realization hit me , it’s never too late to start , maybe its time I become empathetic again , restore the soul from my soulesss body once and for all

Poem – The Final Moments 

She stood in front of the mirror , Before her stood unwanted .

Messy hair , hollow face , dark circles , 
Before her stood ugly , 

Disfigured , Disproportionate , Disformed .

She look at her hands 

She took it out from her pocket ,

Red drops slowly flooding 

The once white sink

Now a rich burgundy .
Her own beautiful death , 

Planned out with such precision 

That the end result was perfection 

Poem – Falling Leaves 

The leaves fell down one by one , 
All losing their personality 

Overshadowed by ones more vibrant . 
They gave up on hope , 

She tried to stop them , 

But things never go the way you want it , 

Do they ? 
Slowly , they left , 

Never to be heard from again , 

Never to be seen again , 

Only their shadow remained

Poem : Lines from Depression : The Prequel

I wrote this poem long ago , don’t remember why , but I slowly think I recall what made me so sad because I’m being chased , chased by a monster who won’t give up , until then .

When a  drop of the ocean sinks deep down ,To a place that has no meaning .
Where hope is missing , 

And life has no reason .
When no one understands you ,

And everyone beguiles you . 
When you feel less than a sand grain in the desert ,

When everyone you care about slowly tear you apart. 
When you want to kill yourself ,

Fast but not physically painful,

Listen to the people around you ,

Who make life less than worthless .
Words are thrown like shards into your tiny heart and looks like swords.
When moments of life get murdered , 

When life defines death .
Wishing that life will come together again ,

Until that day , you keep living .
Living a life that has no reason ,

Life where moments if happiness are overshadowed by the sad ones .
When life is incomplete .
But even a grain of sand has value 

Little Miss Perfect

It’s funny how everyone expects you to be perfect , even when its impossible for anyone to be perfect by universal standards . Sure you may be perfect to some people but there are always people who will judge you , criticize you and expect you to be perfect.
I realize that everyone’s imperfect , I know there are certain things that one can’t change about themselves and they shouldn’t have to .
Insecurity is one of the biggest issues I’m dealing with . When combined with Perfectionism , it’s nothing less of a monster . It’s sad when the only thing you notice about yourself are your flaws and your mistakes.
Things don’t get any better when your parents pile on this huge bundle of expectations . I can’t be the “ideal” daughter but they fail to understand that . If I can accept that they are not perfect , why can’t they do the same for me ?
Is it selfish of me to ask everyone to stop worrying about me so much ? To stop finding more faults ? To stop comparing ? 
Multiple time have my parents compared me with my friends , despite them not knowing facts . I’m the devil , my friends are angels . I can’t be as studious as my smart friends , I can’t be as as sporty as the athletes , I can’t dance like a ballerina . 
Mistakes are meant to be made . You never learn from being right . Yet, when every mistake is an oppurtunity for someone to degrade you or insult you , you find yourself guarding your every move .
To my parents , and to everyone out there , I’m never going to be Little Miss Perfect , neither do I intend on being one . I do intend on being me , an insecure , “ugly” , “lazy” , “foolish” girl . 

Dying Nature 

Dying Nature 

Submerged in a layer of algae and oil , plastic and glass , the creatures slowly succumbed to suffocation , never to see the sunlight again . The water slowly evaporated and whatever was left off turned black . Pitch black . Mother Earth cried tears , salty tears which weren’t enough to regenerate the water body , cursed the people who trashed it but ended blaming herself for spoiling them and letting them do whatever they want .
The beach drowned in it’s own waste . Painfully , but unnoticed . No one helped him , everyone deserted him , That’s basic human nature isn’t it ? Desert people when they are of no use to you . Is it not time we change ? Change our ways , or wasteful ways , our dangerous ways , our destrctive ways to something that can help sustain future life . 
Ships continued to sail but not one sailor looked over to see the captivating beach turn decaptivating . Everyone went their own way . Birds flew over it , murmuring their sadness of not being able to do anything . Salty tears overtook the beach . We all sat and watched , not one of us stood up. 
That’s how the beach ‘suicided’ or was unintentionally murdered by none other than the most developed yet the most selfish and cruel species – humans . 

We overlook her tears , we continue to suffocate her creations . We blame her for providing us enough , when we waste whatever’s available . We blame each other , but what good does that do ? It’s our collective responsibility to protect our Earth . Not one individual’s resposibility .
A lot of people are under the misconception that to saving the earth requires a lot of financial resources . In some areas , it does but throwing trash where it belongs itself helps a lot . Maybe try using paper bags , not all at once , that would be tedious , slowly but gradually reducing their use . Buy a seed ? Plant small plants , it still is involved in the process of photosynthesis , it can still give the ecosystem a tiny bit of oxygen , which may just be enough. No need to for marches or intensive programs to save nature if you don’t want to , tiny things like recycling and resuing . At this stage and rate of development of life , it is practically impossible to reduce utilization of resources , however much we want to reduce , so reusing whatever large amount of bags and paper and bottles and clothes we have would do great help , even if it looks tiny .