*please read the droplet (post) before this titled Trapped*
I sat there . Chained . Deprived . Weak .
I sat there blaming every other person that led me to be locked it this dark room , where the only thing burning is coal , while my heart lazy frozen , devoid of emotions , devoid of feelings , devoid of empathy .
I sat there knowing I very well don’t have a knight in shining armor or a brave princess to come for my rescue , or at least to keep me company amidst these four dreadful walls , to free me from this perpetual loneliness .
I remember how there was a time , where I saw sunlight , where I saw my life gleaming before my eyes , every human sound made me smile with joy , where my heart burned like fire .
I yearn to live like that again .
I pulled the chains , only to deepen the marks on my arms , which were red form the straining I put it through , the unnecessary work I made it do , knowing nothing was going to change .
Deep down , I know I can’t be my own savior . I’m not brave , I’m not strong , I’m a weak , waif like , scar filled , pale , pile of bones and flesh .
But I had enough .
I wasn’t a saint , but I wasn’t the devil , at least not the devil that endlessly hurts others . I wasn’t the best human in the world ,I wasn’t perfect , but I don’t have to put myself to this torture , to this unending quiet madness , I was done .
I pulled the chains one last time , knowing if I failed my arms would break , worthless , like the rest of my body .
I don’t know how hard I must have pulled , because I felt an unnerving bolt of pain passing through my upper half . I found myself on the hard rock floor .
I unchained myself .
*To Be Continued*